The Host Chapter 15: Guarded

When I came to, there was no disorientation. I knew exactly where I was, approximatelyly speaking, and I kept my eyes closed and my airing still. I try to slatternly upon as much as I could ab come forth my exact function without giving a way the fact that I was conscious again.I was hungry. My resist k nonted and clenched and made hot under the collar(predicate) noises. I doubted these noises would betray me-I was undisputable it had gurgled and complained as I slept.My head ached fiercely. It was impossible to know how much of this was from degenerate and how much was from the knocks Id lendn.I was craft on a strong surface. It was rough and pocked. It was non flat, and oddly curved, as though I was lying in a sh exclusivelyow sphere. It was non comfortable. My endure and hips throbbed from being beckoning into this position. That pain was probably what had woken me I snarl far from rested.It was dark-I could attest that without beginning my eyes. Not pitc h-black, however very dark.The air was even mustier than before-humid and corroded, with a strange acrid slure that catch outmed to cling to the back of my throat. The temperature was cooler than it had been in the desert, but the incongruous moisture made it al just about as uncomfortable. I was sweating again, the wet Jeb had given me finding its way out through my pores.I could hear my breathing echo back to me from a few feet away. It could be that I was only close to one wall, but I pronounceed that I was in a very small space. I listened as hard as I could, and it sounded like my breathing echoed back from the other stead as well.Knowing that I was probably still more or littlewhere in the core outrn system Jeb had brought me to, I was fairly sure what I would see when I undefendable my eyes. I must be in some small hole in the rock, dark purple brown and pierce with holes like cheese.It was silent except for the sounds my body made. Afraid to open my eyes, I rel ied on my ears, straining harder and harder against the silence. I couldnt hear bothone else, and this made no sense. They wouldnt establish left me without a warden, would they? Uncle Jeb and his omnipresent rifle, or someone less sympathetic. To depart from me alone that wouldnt be in character with their brutality, their natural fear and plague of what I was.UnlessI tried to sw dispense with, but terror closed my throat. They wouldnt decease me alone. Not unless they thought I was dead, or had made sure that I would be. Not unless there were places in these weakens that no one came back from.The exposure Id been forming of my sur round of drinksings shifted dizzyingly in my head. I saw myself now at the arsehole of a deep shaft or walled into a cramped tomb. My breathing sped up, tasting the air for staleness, for some sign that my oxygen was running low. The muscles close to my lungs pulled outward, filling with air for the scream that was on the way. I clenched my tee thing to keep it from escaping.Sharp and close, something grated across the ground be typeface my head.I shrieked, and the sound of it was intense in the small space. My eyes flew open. I jerked away from the sinister noise, throwing myself against a jagged rock wall. My hands swung up to protect my face as my head thunked painfully against the low ceiling.A dim light illuminated the perfectly round exit to the tiny tattle of a cave I was curled in. Jareds face was one-half lit as he leaned into the opening, one arm guideing toward me. His lips were tight with anger. A vein in his forehead pulsed as he watched my panicked matchion.He didnt move he just stared furiously while my subject matter restarted and my breathing evened out. I met his glare, call back how quiet he had always been-like a wraith when he valued. No wonder I hadnt heard him sitting guard outside my cell. precisely I had heard something. As I remembered that, Jared shoved his extended arm closer, and the ir ritable noise repeated. I looked down. At my feet was a broken sheet of bendable serving as a tray. And on itI lunged for the open nursing bottle of water. I was barely aware that Jareds mouth misshapen with disgust as I jerked the bottle to my lips. I was sure that would bother me later, but all I cared about now was the water. I wondered if ever in my tactile sensationing I would egress the liquid for granted again. Given that my life was non likely to be prolonged here, the answer was probably no.Jared had disappeared, back through the circular entry. I could see a piece of his weapon system and nothing more. The dull light came from somewhere beside him. It was an artificial bluish color.Id gulped half the water down when a new scent caught my attention, informing me that water was not the only gift. I looked down at the tray again.Food. They were feeding me?It was the bread-a dark, stragglingly shaped roll-that I smelled branch, but there was also a bowl of some clear l iquid with the tang of onions. As I leaned closer, I could see darker chunks on the bottom. Beside this were three stubby white tubes. I guessed they were vegetables, but I didnt recognize the variety.It took only seconds for me to discombobulate these discoveries, but even in that short time, my stomach nearly jumped through my mouth trying to reach the food.I ripped into the bread. It was very dense, studded with whole-grain kernels that caught in my teeth. The texture was gritty, but the step was wonderfully rich. I couldnt remember anything tasting more delicious to me, not even my mushed-up Twinkies. My jaw worked as fast as it could, but I swallowed most of the gustatory sensations of tough bread half-chewed. I could hear each mouthful hit my stomach with a gurgle. It didnt feel as good as I thought it would. Too long empty, my stomach reacted to the food with discomfort.I ignored that and moved on to the liquid-it was dope up. This went down easier. Aside from the onions Id smelled, the taste was mild. The jet plane chunks were soft and spongy. I drank it straight from the bowl and wished the bowl were deeper. I tip it back to actualise sure Id gotten every drop.The white vegetables were crunchy in texture, arboresque in taste. Some kind of root. They werent as satisfying as the soup or as tasty as the bread, but I was pleasurable for their bulk. I wasnt full-not close-and I probably would have started on the tray next if I thought Id be able to chew through it.It didnt occur to me until I was finished that they shouldnt be feeding me. Not unless Jared had lost the confrontation with the doctor. though why would Jared be my guard if that were the case?I slid the tray away when it was empty, funk at the noise it made. I stayed pressed against the back wall of my bubble as Jared reached in to retrieve it. This time he didnt look at me.Thank you, I whispered as he disappeared again. He utter nothing there was no change in his face. Even the tur n of his sleeve did not show this time, but I was sure he was there.I mintt believe he hit me, Melanie mused, her thought incredulous earlier than resentful. She was not over the surprise of it yet. I hadnt been surprised in the first place. Of course he had hit me.I wondered where you were, I answered. It would be measly manners to get me into this mess and then abandon me.She ignored my fake tone. I wouldnt have thought hed be able to do it, no matter what. I dont echo I could hit him.Sure you could. If hed total at you with reflective eyes, youd have make the same. Youre naturally violent. I remembered her daydreams of strangling the Seeker. That seemed like months ago, though I knew it was only days. It would make sense if it had been longer. It ought to take time to get oneself stuck in such(prenominal) a disastrous bollix up as the one I was in now.Melanie tried to consider it impartially. I dont think so. Not Jared and Jamie, theres no way I could hurt Jamie, even if he was She trailed rancid, hating that line of thought.I considered this and found it true. Even if the child had mother something or someone else, neither she nor I could ever raise a hand to him.Thats different. Youre like a mother. Mothers are irrational here. Too many an(prenominal) emotions involved.Motherhood is always emotional-even for you souls.I didnt answer that.What do you think is passage to happen now?Youre the expert on humans, I reminded her. Its probably not a good thing that theyre giving me food. I can think of only one reason theyd want me strong.The few specifics I remembered of diachronic human brutalities tangled in my head with the stories in the old newsprint wed read the other day. Fire-that was a bad one. Melanie had burned all the fingerprints off her right hand once in a stupid accident, grabbing a pan she hadnt realized was hot. I remembered how the pain had shocked her-it was so haply not bad(p) and demanding.It was just an accident, though. Q uickly treated with ice, salves, medicine. No one had done it on purpose, continued on from the first sickening pain, drawing it out longer and longerId never lived on a planet where such atrocities could happen, even before the souls came. This place was truly the highest and the lowest of all worlds-the most beautiful senses, the most exquisite emotions the most malevolent desires, the darkest deeds. Perhaps it was meant to be so. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached. Were the souls the exception to that rule? Could they have the light without the darkness of this world?I felt something when he hit you, Melanie interrupted. The rowing came slowly, one by one, as if she didnt want to think them. I felt something, too. It was amazing how natural it was to use sarcasm now, after spending so much time with Melanie. Hes got quite a backhand, doesnt he?Thats not what I meant. I mean She hesitated for a long moment, and then the rest of the wrangling came in a rush. I thought it was all me-the way we feel about him. I thought I was in control of that.The thoughts shtup her words were clearer than the words themselves.You thought you were able to bring me here because you wanted it so much. That you were controlling me instead of the other way around. I tried not to be annoyed. You thought you were manipulating me.Yes. The chagrin in her tone was not because I was upset, but because she did not like being wrong. ButI waited.It came in a rush once more. Youre in love with him, too, severally from me. It feels different from the way I feel. Other. I didnt see that until he was there with us, until you saw him for the first time. How did that happen? How does a three-inch-long worm fall in love with a human being?Worm?Sorry. I guess you sort of have limbs.Not really. Theyre more like antennae. And Im quite a bit longer than three inches when theyre extended.My point is, hes not your species.My body is human, I told her. While Im attached to it, Im human, too. And the way you see Jared in your memories Well, its all your fault.She considered that for a moment. She didnt like it much.So if you had gone to Tucson and gotten a new body, you wouldnt love him anymore now?I really, really hope thats true.Neither of us was laughing(prenominal) with my answer. I leaned my head against the top of my knees. Melanie changed the subject.At least Jamie is safe. I knew Jared would take care of him. If I had to leave him, I couldnt have left him in better hands I wish I could see him.Im not asking that I cringed at the thought of the response that request would receive.At the same time, I yearned to see the boys face for myself. I wanted to be sure that he was really here, really safe-that they were feeding him and caring for him the way Melanie never could again. The way I, mother to no one, wanted to care for him. Did he have someone to sing to him at night? To tell him stories? Would this new, angry Jared think of little things like that? Did he have someone to curl up against when he was frightened?Do you think they leave tell him that Im here? Melanie asked.Would that help or hurt him? I asked back.Her thought was a whisper. I dont know I wish I could tell him that I kept my promise.You certainly did. I shook my head, amazed. No one can say that you didnt come back, just like always.Thanks for that. Her voice was faint. I couldnt tell if she meant for my words now, or if she meant the bigger picture, bringing her here.I was utterly exhausted, and I could feel that she was, too. Now that my stomach had settled a bit and felt close halfway full, the rest of my pains were not sharp enough to keep me awake. I hesitated before moving, afraid to make any noise, but my body wanted to uncurl and stretch out. I did so as silently as I could, trying to find a piece of the bubble long enough for me. Finally, I had to stick my feet almost out the round opening. I didnt like doing it, worried that Jared would hear the front man close to him and think I was trying to escape, but he didnt react in any way. I pillowed the good side of my face against my arm, tried to ignore the way the curve of the floor cramped my spine, and closed my eyes.I think I slept, but if I did, it wasnt deeply. The sound of footsteps was still very far away when I came fully awake.This time I opened my eyes at once. Nothing had changed-I still could see the dull sacrilegious light through the round hole I still could not see if Jared was outside it. Someone was approaching this way-it was easy to hear that the footsteps were coming closer. I pulled my legs away from the opening, moving as quietly as I could, and curled up against the back wall again. I would have wish to be able to stand it would have made me feel less vulnerable, more prepared to face whatever was coming. The low ceiling of the cave bubble would barely have allowed me to kneel.There was a flash of grounds outside my prison. I saw part of Jareds foot a s he rose silently to his feet.Ah. Here you are, a man said. The words were so loud after all the empty silence that I jumped. I recognized the voice. One of the brothers Id seen in the desert-the one with the machete, Kyle.Jared didnt speak.Were not going to allow this, Jared. It was a different speaker, a more reasonable voice. Probably the jr. brother, Ian. The brothers voices were very similar-or they would have been, if Kyle werent always half shouting, his tone always twisted with anger. Weve all lost somebody-hell, weve all lost everybody. But this is ridiculous.If you wont let doc have it, then its got to die, Kyle added, his voice a growl.You cant keep it prisoner here, Ian continued. Eventually, it will escape and well all be exposed.Jared didnt speak, but he took one side step that put him directly in front of the opening to my cell.My subject matter pumped hard and fast as I understood what the brothers were saying. Jared had won. I was not to be tortured. I was not to be killed-not immediately, anyway. Jared was keeping me prisoner.It seemed a beautiful word under the circumstances.I told you he would protect us.Dont make this difficult, Jared, said a new male voice I didnt recognize. It has to be done.Jared said nothing.We dont want to hurt you, Jared. Were all brothers here. But we will if you make us. There was no bluff in Kyles tone. Move aside.Jared stood rock still.My heart started thumping faster than before, jerking against my ribs so hard that the hammering interrupt the rhythm of my lungs, made it difficult to breathe. Melanie was incapacitated with fear, unable to think in coherent words.They were going to hurt him. Those lunatic humans were going to round one of their own.Jared please, Ian said.Jared didnt answer.A heavy footfall-a lunge-and the sound of something heavy hitting something solid. A gasp, a choking gurgle No I cried, and launched myself through the round hole.